The Mel Gibson Tapes Show Hate on Both Sides

My heart goes out to any woman who is physically abused, or emotionally abused, for that matter. I have been on the receiving end of both physical and emotional abuse. The way Mel Gibson speaks to the mother of his baby is all too familiar to me. I did not egg on my man (the father of my child). His imagination and jealousy were much more dangerous than anything I could possibly say to him. When he saw other men look at me, he accused me of shaking my ass when I walk. I defy one (sane) person to catch me wiggling my rear unless I'm dancing, and I'm getting too old for public ass shaking.

My marriage was short-lived. Once the physical abuse occurred, I could no longer consider this man to be my best friend. I walked on egg shells as long as we shared living space. I'd been raised by fighting parents; I wasn't willing to subject my son to this environment, so I left.

My exhusband had a gambling addiction. In addition to dealing with abuse, my financial situation took a nosedive as a married woman. We could not afford a tree during my son's first Christmas. Severing the partnership with this man became a no-brainer, once I could finally digest the idea that we couldn't be a family.

When a woman leaves her abusive husband, she must give up the dream of a happy marriage. She must also decide to separate her child from the man she probably still loves, in spite of his terrible behavior. Love rarely dies overnight. Although outsiders might wonder why it takes a woman so long to leave her abuser, leaving isn't easy. As the dream dies, the woman must quit thinking of herself as a team member; in order to survive, she can no longer put her partner first.

In my case, calling the police would have destroyed our team. I was never "beaten," but I was hit by a man twice my weight, and one time I flew across the room. I felt sorry for this man whose father beat him most of his life. I wanted to help him have a good life.

But I was unable to improve his life, while he was destroying mine. He'd fly into a rage if he came home from work and saw that I'd failed to open all of the windows (all but one). Because I feared that anything I said would make matters worse, I'd shut up. If I did not participate in the argument, this man who had vowed to love me through good times and bad, would harass me for not speaking.

It took me two years to get it together to leave the marriage. Although he hadn't raised his hand to hit me for over six months, calling me the C-word in front of our son was the last straw for me.

Would I have stayed longer if our financial situation had been better?

Selling My House

In order to put my house up for sale, I had to put most everything else aside to focus, focus, and focus on a job that was too big for me. No time for blogging. No time for scrapbooking.

My brother helped me. My sisters helped me. My nephew. My sister-in-law. Even my friend Dale who had just gone through the horrors of moving herself. These people all volunteered to put in time they could have spent a thousand different ways. I had not wanted to impose. I'd been too afraid to ask.

Once I decided to move, the work didn't stop. I cleaned, polished and tossed things away. I got things repaired that should have been repaired years ago. Twenty years, almost twenty-one years is a long time to live in one place, a long time to accumulate junk. One day I saw the futility of paying for a place to house all my belongings.

When's the last time you moved? No matter how positive you are, the amount of work required never seems to stop. "We" filled up my brother's giant trailer---his Model A trailer---three times. By "we," I mostly mean "they" because my back and most of my body gave out at the beginning of packing. I've hobbled and limped since March 2010. There must be 100 boxes that over-fill a rented storage space and my sister's garage.

My last night on Castlebrook was spent on the floor; I'd sold my beautiful futon to my friend across the street. I traded the discomfort of the floor for the peace of mind that the futon was gone. I was desperate to close up the house.

Money Can't Buy You Class

Here is the Countess LuAnn's smash single. I'm not sure whether LuAnn takes herself seriously or not. The proceeds from the single will go to cherity, and LuAnn looks stunning on the video:

Why I Love Kelly Cutrone Part 2

I love Kelly Cutrone more than ever now. Tuesday night I watched my guilty pleasure, The City. Kelly made the following statement to both Whitney Port and Erin Kaplan:

Who gives a *&#@ about her opinion? She's dead. She is dead. I'm going to come up like a shark underneath a glass bottom boat and whip the shit out of her.

The statement was in reference to Olivia Palermo who was supposed to attend the photo shoot of Whitney's collection to interview Whitney. Apparently, Olivia had decided to snub Whitney's collection, but she hadn't bothered to inform her employer Elle Magazine or Whitney's employer and mentor Kelly Cutrone (People's Revolution).

The expression on Erin's face in reaction to Kelly's comment was priceless. Erin has had difficulty working with Olivia for months; she was surprised and amused at the same time, and so was everyone else in earshot of Kelly's remark. Hahaha.

American Idol's Top Five

I hated to see Aaron voted off the show last night. Actually, "voted off" isn't exactly accurate. Nobody voted against Aaron; they chose to save somebody else. I hope that the star-maker machine picks up 17-year-old Aaron and helps him get a pop following. All he needs is one big hit and a couple of magazine covers, and Aaron can run with his career.

Sinatra week was a great idea, especially with Harry Connick Jr. at the helm, arranging the songs and supporting the singers with his instrumentals. What a generous man; what an opportunity for these contestants.

I am happy that these young singers did not try to over-stylize Sinatra songs by bending too many notes (like Mariah or Witney). A simple song can be ruined by over-doing it. Less can definitely be more, and these young singers honored Frank Sinatra, Harry Connick Jr., and themselves, by not doing vocal aerobatics. The true test of a singer is to get out there and sing, and that is what each of them did last night. Aaron Kelly did a fabulous job on Blue Skies.

Obviously, I cannot hear what the judges are hearing. Casey James sounded fantastic to me. He did not look like he missed his guitar. He seemed relaxed and poised, and as usual, G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S!!! This man can be a star with his face alone that reminds me of Brad Pitt when I first saw him in Thelma and Louise and I said, "Who is that?" Since I haven't seen Brad without that scraggly beard for ages, I think Casey is....he is just too pretty. Have you noticed his shoulders and beautiful posture? And that boy can sing and play the guitar like nobody's business. He is one of my favorites.

Wouldn't it be funny if Big Mike were to win, after ending up in the bottom two so many times? I love Mike. Close your eyes next time he sings, and let yourself be carried away by that velvet voice that is similar perhaps to Luther Vandross. Mike can sing; he is not "pitchy," or as HCJ would say, "Off key." He isn't familiar with the term "pitchy," and he doesn't like it.

Mike can have a career. I'd buy his records. I'd buy Casey's as well. I might put a poster of Casey on my wall if I were 50 years younger. And if I were 55 years younger, I might put a poster up of Aaron Kelly.

Speaking of gorgeous men and boys: I barely noticed Lee DeWyze at first, and I thought he'd get voted off weeks ago. I'm so happy he didn't. Lee's voice is a cross--perhaps--between that of Joe Cocker and Michael Bolton, but I think he's a better singer. The judges keep telling Lee to smile. If Lee would smile several times in one night, he'd have a huge career. He is one good-looking man.

Our only woman contestant left is Crystal Bowersox. I think I'd change my last name, if I were Crystal. And I'd certainly get braces on my teeth. My guess is that Crystal's family is far from financial wealth but they've supported her deep appreciation and talent for music, especially bluesy music. Here I go making comparisons again. Crystal reminds me a bit of Jewel--who never fixed her crooked teeth, but she is considered beautiful nevertheless. Both Jewel and Crystal play the guitar and write good songs. And with their beautiful skin, they both look very earthy.

Crystal has an excellent voice. It is full and thick and smooth like Linda Ronstadt's voice. I could listen to either of these singers all day. Crystal could use some help from a stylist.

I suppose that Crystal will win, but I can picture Big Mike as the winner. On the other hand, the more we see of Lee, the more likely it seems that he might win. And what about Casey James? I will be happy to see any of these performers win American Idol. I hope they each have a big career ahead of them. I think they all do, including Aaron.

A Face Heidi's Mother Could Love

Even kids young enough to be my grandchildren think The Hills is uncool. Never in my wildest dreams did I plan to write about this show, but I saw a scene Monday night that was so poignant, so moving, that I consider this episode brilliant--most likely on accident.

Everyone has seen pictures of Heide Montag since her 10 elective surgeries. Can you imagine how her mother would react to these drastic changes?

The new season begins while Heidi recovers from her surgeries. Although, these procedures were elective, Heidi is in extreme pain while she adjusts to her new self. She makes a trip to Colorado to visit her family. Heidi's mother cries at the sight of Heidi; she yearns for the face of Heidi that she loved and adored. She is dumbfounded that Heidi would risk her life to change something that was perfect in the first place. The surgeon has robbed Heidi's mother; you can see the pain in her eyes and hear the sadness in her voice.

Why would someone go to such extremes? This is the question that viewers of The Hills and readers of the gossip rags want to know. Heidi's mother and sister were once in awe of Heidi's self-confidence. What happened to Heidi? She says that she has felt pressure to be beautiful, living in Los Angeles. According to her mother, moving back to Colorado would be a more feasible option but this kind of talk hurts Heidi. What's the point?

Dining together at a restaurant, the family struggles to understand Heidi and the extreme changes to her appearance. Apparently, the side effects from the various surgeries made Heidi very sick. Her jaw and face hurt; she cannot chew her meat. When Holly's mother suggests putting Heidi's dinner into a blender, the pain in Heidi's eyes makes her mother--and all of us watching this episode--want to reach out to Heide while she stifles the need to sob. Although Heidi's face looks stiff from the tightness of her skin and she cannot readily move her face, her eyes express the disappointment she has in her family. She obviously hoped that her family would greet her new face--and body--with more enthusiasm.

Cosmetic surgery is a personal choice for those who have the money. When an individual makes a subtle change with a little tweak here and there, I say go for it. Why Heidi would go to such extremes is no mystery. She states that she didn't like herself before these drastic changes, but there is absolutely no doubt that Heidi's surgeon should have recommended a good therapist when he discovered how deep her insecurities go.

While I hope that Heidi's choices help her accept herself in the long run, every teenage girl should watch this episode of The Hills. Honestly, Heidi is a poster child for all the wrong reasons to have plastic surgery.

Larry King: Another Story about Infidelity

I'm bored by all the stories about famous marriages that fail due to cheating men. Sex outside of marriage has become an epidemic worse than H1N1. However, the story about Larry King makes me chuckle because it's beyond absurd.

Larry King is a true enigma, and this tale about deception and divorce is stranger than fiction. King has been married eight times, and each time he marries a woman who looks just like the last one. He not only loves blondes, but each one is pretty with similar facial features.

One might view King and each of these beautiful women as a weird match, but Larry is a much better "catch" than one might think. Several years ago, I attended a Tony Robbins seminar with Larry as one of Tony's guests. Larry is a fantastic story teller and a hilarious, charming man. I am guessing that, for a woman, he can be one good time.

I admire the professional Larry King whose nightly show is a staple of American culture. But if the stories are true, that King has been involved with his beautiful wife's younger sister, then he is an insecure, sad man. What is wrong with someone who cheats on his wife with his sister-in-law?

Tiger Woods may have cheated on his wife many times, and Jesse James made a spectacle of his marriage after Sandra Bullock made an eloquent speech praising her husband and his devotion to her. But as far as I'm concerned, Larry King helped destroy his wife's relationship with her own sister, and his actions are worst of all.

What a selfish and stupid man.

Real Housewives of New York City a/o April 8, 2010

I seem to be getting hung up on this show. But the truth is that I'm also watching Dancing with the Stars, Sober House, and for the first time in ages, American Idol. I will undoubtedly comment on these other shows. But for now, Real Housewives warrants some comment.

I'm honestly surprised that Jill and Bethenny haven't made up yet. But, according to reports, Jill did not attend Bethenny's wedding, which probably occurred after the filming of this season's show. I think that this relationship mirrors the friendships of many audience members; the breakup demonstrates how both insecurity and pride wear apart relationships.

I'm surprised that Jill cannot see what a judgmental person she has become. She has lain in wait for her friends to goof up. Not just Bethenny. She got angry at Ramona for getting the two of them together, when Jill did the exact same thing last season with Kelli and Bethenny. Jill gets offended when any of the cast members spend time with Bethenny.

I believe that Ramona was correct when she said that Jill befriends underdogs. I do believe that it was easier for Jill to help Bethenny before her big successes. Have you ever had a friend who held your hand when you cried but could not handle your successes?

I loved the scene with LuAnn spending the night in Jill's guest room. The guest room looked so inviting. No matter how old we are, it feels good to offer a comfortable room to a friend, and it is nice to be pampered by a friend as well. Both women wore their pretty nightgowns for each other, and they laughed when Jill's dog farted.

I like Kelli more each episode (if I don't think about the fur). She is not petty. Neither is Alex. Alex is the most consistent and trustworthy.

Ramona is not tactful at all. Why would she tell Bethenny that she'll probably lose Jason? She could have gotten her point across a hundred different ways. For instance, "Jason is the only loyal person in your life right now. I hope the relationship works out for the both of you. I'd hang onto him; he seems very special."

Real Housewives of New York City a/o April 1, 2010

People say that bad behavior makes for good television, but I have honestly been disappointed in the immaturity of most of the cast members of Real Housewives NYC. None of these housewives are bad people. Their good qualities far outweigh their nastiness. But I hope this show serves as a mirror for them, and any one of them seeking truth will see that they need to make changes.

The biggest trouble maker right now is Jill. This comment must be qualified because I believe she usually means well, but she has gotten lost. Because so many people like Jill, she's in the position to do much harm. Her friends who now hate Bethenny show little character or ability to think for themselves. They seem to care an awful lot about pleasing Jill.

Whenever Bethenny suggests that Jill has made far too much of their disagreement, Jill becomes too enraged to consider the wisdom of Bethenny's comment: "Jill needs to get a hobby." A hobby wouldn't change the fact that Bethenny shortchanged her friend Jill by virtually ignoring her all summer. But a hobby--or something else to focus on--could help Jill to quit ruminating about how disappointed she is in others. She has been criticizing others as if she were faultless.

When Bethenny called Jill, trying to put a stop to all the mud-slinging, Jill put Bethenny on the speaker phone without telling Bethenny that LuAnn was listening to the phone call. Jill is in so much pain over the loss of her friendship with Bethenny that she is excusing her own terrible behavior.

I loved the scene with Alex, Ramona, Bethenny and Kelly, as they planned fashion week in Brooklyn. Bethenny and Kelly got wrapped up in their old argument again. When each of them tried to get some closure, their discussion escalated into an argument that made both Alex and Ramona uncomfortable. Alex put her foot and told the ladies to leave, if they insisted on arguing. When Ramona supported Alex, both Kelly and Bethenny decided on the spot to let the past go. They made up--without the need for one last word.

This positive resolution demonstrates maturity, true friendship, and my idea of good television.

Real Housewives of New York City a/o March 25, 2010

Before I begin today's blog, I feel the need to explain something. Kelli, when you buy fur, you are creating a demand for it. This demand for fur causes greedy furriers to skin animals for their fur. Kelli, animals cannot live without their skin and their fur. This is why PETA and other animal lovers consider it cruel to animals to wear fur. If everyone were to boycott fur, nobody could sell it, and there'd be no reason to hurt these furry critters. Not only should you quit wearing fur, but you should boycott anyone who sells fur.

*****
Once and for all, I embrace the Real Housewives of New York City, and my further comments will be without any tone of apology. These ladies are not necessarily heroic. But they are characters that are dropped into a setting that I love: New York City. I will blog about each show I find interesting. Here are my observations about each woman since Thursday's show. These are in no particular order:

I admire Alex. Much goes on behind her quiet face. Unlike the others, she finds no need to verbalize everything. She is the truest friend, trying hard to stay in the middle of the current configuration of two sides that is in heated battle.

Did Alex see her son Francois jabbing Jason's gourmet hamburger in season one? My only criticism of Alex is that she let her children run wild without boundaries or manners that I could see. They impeded the freedom of the adults around them, and I found the situation with the kids at Jill's dinner intolerable.

The burger debacle occurred a long time ago; I'd rather focus on the decency that I observe in Alex. She is less likely to gossip than the other wives. She has a solid relationship with her husband Simon, and she has depth and sincerity about her in this background of wealth and opulence.

The other wife who hasn't picked a side in Jill v. Bethenny is Ramona. I have grown to like her. Ramona's new haircut took five years or so off her appearance. The jewelry that she sells on HSN is beautiful, and it was within good taste for her to show the jewelry to her friends when they were partying on the yacht. She wasn't hawking it; she was sharing her success with her gal pals.

Ramona is a bit of a nut, perhaps manic, certainly moody. She is admittedly uncensored, and she gets herself into trouble. I find Ramona to be self-centered,

Men Who Cheat and the Media Who Report Them

Famous men who cheat on their wives bring down the morale of our whole culture. Each new broken marriage chips away at our collective belief that monogamy is possible. Each additional cracked marriage reported by the media chips away at the sanctity of marriage. Each new story about cheating men demoralizes women who want to believe in the honor of men. Each new story about cheating men lowers the standards for other men and lowers the expectations of women. Each sad story is leading our society to mediocrity.

Do wives cheat? Yes. But for now, wives are a separate topic because we don't turn on the television and constantly hear about wives breaking up their own marriages. However, we hear plenty about women who think it's okay to sleep with another woman's husband. Note to the other woman: The odds are almost zero that this man will leave his wife for you.

The media has torpedoed the concept of marriage. Entertainment news makes bundles of money reporting the downfall of men and the humiliation of the injured wife and kids. Unfortunately, it is not the reporting of facts that dominates air time. It's the hashing, rehashing, judging, and arguing about what the involved parties have done and what they might do. Now the media spends hundreds of hours relegating itself to philosophizing and moralizing on the mistakes of lying men and trusting women. Little of what we hear is actual news.

The position an individual takes on a story about cheating tells more about that person than the actual story. For instance, men who say that cheating is only a matter of opportunity are telling on themselves and what they have done or what they will do with opportunity. Women who say that all men cheat have quit looking for an honorable man--or they have convinced themselves that honor doesn't exist. This view allows them to tolerate their own marriage without standing their ground.

Each politician's wife who publicly stands by her man contributes to the low standards our society now tolerates. Think how different we'd all feel if Hillary Clinton had kicked Bill's ass to the curb. But she was too far wedged into the political system to put her personal feelings before her political future. The way things went down hurt the people of this country. Bill Clinton was a terrible leader of morality. What does this say about a leader who cannot be trusted with your sister or your daughter? What respect did Mr. President have for women, or for this country for that matter, to have such low regard for the First Lady of this country?

Jill and Bethenny Behave Like Spoiled Children

I fantasize about living in Manhatten and vacationing on weekends in the Hamptons. Maybe that's why I'm a big fan of the Real Housewives of New York City. I want to visit NYC, but for now I live vicariously through some interesting women--or so I thought.

As of last season, my favorite two housewives were Bethenny and Jill. I enjoyed the humor and outspokenness of both of them. I loved Bethenny's humor. I thought that Jill was grounded; I wanted Jill's mother to adopt me.

What happened since last season to make me disappointed in "my housewives"? Bethenny fell in love, and just like a high school girl, she forgot who had her back. Nobody's too busy for a true friend, especially when that friend's husband is being treated for thyroid cancer. People take time for what's important, whether they're promoting a book or falling in love. That's it; no excuse.

However, why does Jill need to turn a whole posse against Bethenny? If you think this blog sounds like I'm a high school girl writing in my dear diary, this blog only represents the silliness and immaturity that I've seen, watching a show I used to love.

Maybe we girls never grow up. Maybe from a sociology point of view, certain dynamics call for predictable behavior. Why is it important that Jill's friends hate Bethenny when everyone knows that Jill and Bethenny will eventually make up?

Academy Awards 2010 Best Gowns

I tend to favor strapless gowns that flow nicely from a well-fitted bust and bodice. This look appeared on this year's read carpet in so many variations that none of gowns was unique. The females dressed like movie stars this year, and fashionable women paraded down the red carpet, put together from head to toe.

I begin with Cameron Diaz who finally discarded her disheveled look and did something wonderful with her blonde hair that looked both soft and glamorous. Cameron wears this lovely Oscar de la Renta gown below. Her earrings and Veronica Lake hair complement her beaded gown perfectly.

Everyone seems to love the exquisite Mariska Hargitay, and I am part of the majority. Did I miss something? Is Mariska a movie star? If not, then why wasn't the "television actress" Farrah Fawcett featured in the memoriam of stars who died within this last year? That omission was the worst faux pas among faux pas.

Academy Awards 2010 Worst Gowns

I was truly disappointed in some of the horrible gowns that I saw on the Red Carpet last Sunday. Some actresses are considered style icons; we usually depend on them to be fashion-forward in their mode of dress. I saw more amazing dresses than bad ones. But the bad ones were real zingers. I'll delve right in.

Here is Sarah Jessica Parker wearing Chanel Haute Couture. Only a pregnant woman should consider wearing this dress. What was Sarah thinking? In addition to disliking this sad dress, East Bay Girl acknowledges SJP as having the Worst Hair Do at the Oscars. The gigantic "bun" was the worst part of the look below:

The next freaky dress surprised me because Charlize Theron usually reminds me of like old Hollywood glamour; she statuesque and beautiful, but when I glance at the following dress by Christian Dior, Charlize appears to have hands over each of her breasts. I've always thought that Charlize could look fantastic in a gunny sack, and I would prefer to see her in one, instead of this dress. The fit is a bit strange around the hips and tummy as well.

I've had difficulty choosing my Worst Pick because I hate these four gowns equally. This next gown--and I use the term "gown" loosely because it resembles an architectural structure--received much praise from the Fashion Police. Maybe I should give it a couple points because I can imagine this dress on a Paris runway. This design by Armani Prive looks great from some angles, but dreadful from others. The fabric looks stiff and uncomfortable to me. The ladies of the Fashion Police seem enamored by Jennifer Lopez. I don't always appreciate her fashion choices, but kudos to Jennifer for taking a huge chance with this design.

I wish someone would tell Mariah Carey that less is more. She could truly be beautiful, if she'd use some restraint. East Bay Girl has a principle called the Asset Rule. Never show your legs and your breasts at the same time, especially if you're voluptuous. Thinner girls with less curves can wear both tighter and shorter clothes, but they should still follow the Asset Rule. Mariah would show much class if she'd cover up a little.

I will post my favorite gowns in the next blog.

Jill v. Bethenny and Other Nastiness

The Real Housewives of New York City returned from hiatus to begin its third season. I find myself talking as if I know these women personally. But since a reality show is supposed to accurately represent the true lives of its cast members, I only draw conclusions from what I see.

Surprise. The lives of these women changed drastically over vacation, and I fear that my favorite "housewives" no longer measure up. Here is a list of the cast members, from favorite to least favorite, as of last season:

1. Bethenny
2. Jill
3. LuAnn
4. Ramona
5. Alex
6. Kelly

Now....Here is my list, from favorite to least favorite, as of last Thursday's show:

1. Alex
2. Ramona
3. LuAnn
4. Kelly
5. Bethenny
6. Jill

Jill and Bethenny are both charming and vibrant; I used to enjoy the way they related to each other. Both stubborn, they'd back down when push comes to shove, in order to honor their relationship. They always seemed to have each other's back--and I adored Jill's mother.

I'm so disappointed in the turn of events.

Season three on the show begins after summer 2009; Jill's husband Bobby has gone through cancer treatments; I didn't see that coming.

Hurray for Bethenny who fell in love with a good guy. But where was her support of Jill through such a difficult summer? Were these two ladies just friends for the show last year? Is Bethenny like so many women who drop their girlfriends the minute a man enters the picture?

Where's the Missing Sleeve?

Have I mentioned how much I HATE dresses with just one sleeve? I have recently seen this look all over the red carpet. Note to movie stars: Please either go sleeveless or with double sleeves to this Sunday's Academy Award Show.

I peruse the internet to find these horrid one-sleeved garbs. Here is beautiful Katherine Heigl wearing Naeem Khan. Let me add that Naeem Khan designs beautiful gowns. I just don't understand this one look. This is last August 2009, and I was sure this style would disappear by the year's end.

When I was a teenager, we had a hairstyle that my mother couldn't stand. We ratted the top of our hair and twisted it with hair pins, but we left the back of the hair down. (Picture Snooki from Jersey Shore, except that we put the height toward the crown of our heads and not near our foreheads.) My mother told me that my hair looked like two different hairstyles and that I should either have the bottom swooped up, into the twist, or my whole head of hair should be worn down.

Why do I mention a hairdo here? Because my mother had a good sense of style, and she just couldn't wrap her brain around the way I wore my hair, just like I cannot wrap my brain around the missing sleeve. What happened to it? Here's Kim Kardashian from Glamour.com October 2009.

Kim is a style icon, so I guess young women would jump off a bridge, if Kim decided to jumped first. Maybe Kim can swim better with just one sleeve.

The Ladies of The View Browbeat Nadya

When I first heard that Nadya Suleman was to appear on The View, I wondered why. Hasn’t everything about her already been covered by the media? I can only hear about one topic so many times without wanting to rip my hair out. (Other over-reported topics are: Tiger Woods, Sarah Palin, Jon or Kate Gosselin, Kate Gosselin’s hair, etc.) I bemoan today’s technology when I hear any of these names.

I tuned into the show because I still wondered how Nadya was fairing with all those kids, and I wanted to know how she got her figure back after giving birth to nearly a whole baseball team in one squat.

One thing we know about Nadya: She isn’t spending money on a stylist, and she could use one. Her dress was too tight and too short. But her body looks great. I wonder how she can find the time to exercise, but I give her props for looking so terrific, no matter how she did it. I won’t show the “before” picture, because it frightens me. Let’s say that I’ve never seen a pregnant stomach that large. And I couldn't find a photo of the dress she wore on The View. But here's her Star Magazine cover photo:


Have you ever tried to play catch-up with a group of old friends, and people talk over each other (like they do on The View)? Women are good at jumping in before someone else's sentence is finished. It’s partly a cultural thing that is acceptable among women, unless you happen to be one who loses your train of thought easily, and then getting interrupted can ruin your day. True to form, the ladies of The View didn’t mind interrupting Nadya to ask her a thought-provoking question while she was still trying to answer the previous question.

Nadya tried to keep track of all the questions the ladies asked her and to answer them in the order they were asked. In addition, she wanted the opportunity to set the record straight about old news items that had been misreported. The ladies of The View were relentless at butting in, even when they could see that Nadya was getting flustered. She exhibited what Sherri referred to as a maniacal laugh as she became stressed, but they still did not let up. While sandwiched in between the ladies, she looked to the left and then to the right, repositioning her body to see the person she was addressing while her interviewers kept tripping her up with new questions. Here is the first part of Nadya's appearance.

Who Is Pastor Melissa Scott?

Who knows what television personality lurks in the early morning hours? With irregular sleep patterns, I find myself channel surfing late at night and into the early A.M. With the same old movies repeated on the cable channels, and one too many reality shows, I step out of the box and settle on a Christian program. I've been loving church lately. I could expand my knowledge of the Bible, instead of dumbing myself down late at night.

Who is this young woman preacher with all the hair? Nobody on a pulpit looks like this. Here is someone with a scholastic spin on the Bible. She analyzes the King James, word by word. Slender with blue eyes, and she's a brainiac, too. But I have trouble following her sermon. Before turning off the T.V., I set my DVR to record the next religious service from the University of Los Angeles Cathedral with Melissa Scott.

The next time I watch Pastor Scott, I listen carefully to the sermon. I don't understand a darn thing. She writes Greek words on a blackboard that is already covered with other words and phrases that looked like gibberish to someone watching from home. I don't assume I'm stupid when I can't understand something. I think the presentation isn't clear.

I'm fascinated by linguistics and the history of the Bible, and my undergraduate degree is in communication. Pastor Scott uses elevated language that is specific to advanced knowledge of Biblical history. I see that the whole cathedral is packed with members and visitors, and I wonder why they aren't asleep. I took a college class in the history of language. I've taken many courses in both English and French syntax. My educational background should help me understand what Pastor Smith is talking about. But it does not, so I wonder who exactly is Melissa Scott? And who is her audience? How does someone so young and female have the pulpit? I did a little research.

For the last fifteen years of his ministry, Dr. Eugene Scott held weekly Sunday Bible teaching services at the Los Angeles University Cathedral in Los Angeles, California. Dr. Scott married his third wife, Melissa Pastore in August 2000.  A few days before his death. Dr. Scott had a stroke. Before he died, he signed papers to transfer both powers and assets to his wife who was 40 years his junior.

The Return of Roky Erickson Part 3

I love this photo of Roky Erickson at the 2008 Austin Music Awards:

Austin Music Awards 2008 Photo licensed under Creative Commons

My opinions about the people in the documentary You're Gonna Miss Me are based on what I saw and what I've read. I don't know these people personally. Having said that, I'll toss some ideas around about Roky Erickson, his situation and his family.

I watched the documentary a second time, and I saw things a bit differently. I understand Roky's mother better. She is an extremely bright woman with an elevated vocubulary. She is a frustrated performer who still dreams of being on the stage. Unfortunately, she is more than a pack rat. She appears to be a hoarder of the stacks of junk and filth around her that keep her at a low level of functioning.

Roky's youngest brother Sumner talks about growing up in a decaying house and the need to make noise before entering the kitchen so the rats would run away. The mother and the silent father did not teach their children to solve their own problems, at least by example. It's no wonder that the mom could not release Roky from his inward prison, no matter how much she loves him, when she's stuck in one herself.

The Return of Roky Erickson Part 2

The 13th Floor Elevators were the highly respected pioneers of psychedelic rock. Chet Helms, the rock promoter of the once famous Avalon Ballroom gives Roky Erickson credit for much of Janis Joplin’s stage presence. Singer/poet Patti Smith says that she would play her 13th Floor Elevator LPs over and over, going to sleep to them and, waking up to them.

I was a bit leery to watch the documentary You're Gonna Miss Me because it's about someone extremely wounded--by both mental illness and the mental healthcare system itself. I didn’t want to see that beautiful front man for the Elevators turn into someone broken. I'm very curious to know what hurt Roky the most: the LSD and other drugs he took, the potent medications (drugs) and electroshock therapy the "doctors" gave him, or the mental illness that was a part of Roky's makeup. But I will delve into this question in Part 3.

Although You’re Gonna Miss Me is a sad story, there is sweetness to this documentary that begins in 2001 in a Travis County Texas courtroom as Roky’s brother Sumner petitions the court for guardianship of Roky. He wants to lift Roky out of poverty and get him medical care. He dreams of Roky playing music again.

In the years that their mother took on the job of caregiver, Roky has declined further into isolation, poverty and nothingness. At the point this movie begins, Roky will only speak to his mother and no one else. When the mother testifies before the judge, she seems more concerned about the sadness of her own life than the outcome of the court hearing.

The Return of Roky Erickson Part 1

You’re Gonna Miss Me is a documentary that chronicles the life of Roky Erickson, front man for the 1960s psychedelic rock band the 13th Floor Elevators. The band was popular when I was in high school. I heard about the movie and thought, what the heck; this movie about the singer might be kind of interesting, but it really grabbed me.

Toward the beginning of the documentary, there is footage of Roky and the band performing their hit single, “You’re Gonna Miss me,” You may have heard this song in the opening sequence of the movie Hi Fidelity. Dell Computers also featured the song in their 2006 ad for their XPS laptop. I've searched high and low for a decent video of this band that should have been seen by the whole world. I hope you'll settle for a good audio of "You're Gonna Miss Me" to HEAR Roky on vocals and guitar, Tommy Hall on the electric jug, and Stacy Sutherland playing some amazing lead guitar. Good gosh. I almost forgot about Roky on the harmonica. This band was clearly ahead of his time.

I plan to write a blog that lists the top 50 screamers of rock 'n' roll, like Jim Morrison in L.A. Woman or James Brown in just about anything. Please check out the delicious screams of "You're Gonna Miss Me."

Everyone at YouTube tries to upload the same shoddy film clip of the band’s 1966 performance on American Bandstand. I think you have to watch the documentary to see the only cleaned up version, which knocks my socks off. Roky, an extremely fine-looking individual, plays guitar and sings like a wild man. Only a few famous people possess that kind of stage presence. I’m a self-proclaimed music buff, and I honestly had no idea what we all missed when this band left the music scene way too soon.

The 13th Floor Elevators were the first “psychedelic” band. The members of the band believed in the mind-expanding virtues of LSD. (I once held the belief that LSD expanded the mind as well.) Those of us who survived until 2010 can clearly see how damaging LSD is to the brain. But so are psych drugs and other barberic remedies used by mental hospitals.

On Joy and Sorrow by Gibran

My Uncle Jim died on January 24, 2010. He was my uncle by marriage to my Aunt Helen, my dad's baby sister. My aunt and uncle were married for 47 years.

How is my aunt supposed to cope with a loss of this magnitude? I cannot fill the void left by my uncle but this special poem by Kahlil Gibran may bring my aunt some comfort by making sense of loss.

Most people know Gibran by his book The Prophet. The following poem, "On Joy and Sorrow" is a part of this famous book. I have found this writing to be of great comfort to me when I have suffered from profound loss, and what loss can be more profound than the loss of a husband? My aunt does not use a computer; I sent her a copy of this poem via snail mail.

On Joy and Sorrow by Kahlil Gibran

THEN a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.

And he answered:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter
rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your
being, the more joy you can contain.

A Man Called Paladin

I love the old series Have Gun Will Travel that now airs on the Encore Western channel. Here are some facts about Paladin, my favorite gun for hire from 1957 to 1963:

Paladin made his home at the Hotel Carlton in San Francisco sometime after his education at West Point. He dressed like a gentlemen, dining on fine food and wines. He combed through the daily paper, looking for potential clients who might need his services, and of course, he used his calling card that said, "Have gun....Will travel." He charged $1,000--but only those who could pay. Paladin was a man of refinement, a "James Bond" of the old West, who carried a few expensive cigars in his boot when out on an adventure.

Why I love Kelly Cutrone

I first saw Kelly Cutrone on The Hills. Yes, I admit to watching occasional drivel, maybe quite a bit of drivel these days. But the show became interesting to me when Whitney Port went to work at People's Revolution, and for founder Kelly Cutrone. After four seasons of The Hills, Whitney left the show to star in The City that featured Whitney's career at People's Revolution.

I found Whitney's boss, Kelly Cutrone to be a great role model for Whitney and for the other young people that she mentors. Her demanding presence seems to intimidate her staff; she has high expectations of everyone around her. But I notice that she's a real softie once she sees someone making an effort to learn their job. Cutrone gets angry when a staff member does something foolish, but her bark is often worse than her bite--often, but not always.

People's Revolution is a branding public relations firm that produces fashion shows all over the world and gets press for their clients. They take the clothes out of the show room and get them onto the pages of magazines and onto the backs of clients. People's Revolution represents 46 clients; they have produced fashion shows for: Nicky Hilton, Vivienne Westwood, Marisa Ribisi, and many others. People's Revolution produced 10 different shows during the last Fashion week at Bryant Park. Kelli Cutrone and Jeremy Kost below:

A Return to Healing

A few years ago, at the conclusion of an office visit with Dr. Saputo, he mentioned that he was writing a book about health care reform. At that time, I was making a 45-minute drive to see Dr. Saputo because I couldn't get the medical help that I needed closer to home.

Dr. Saputo embodies the ideal medical practitioner of the 21st century. He uses cutting-edge laboratory tests to diagnose illness. He combines conventional medicine with adjunct alternative or integrative therapies. He goes to the source of many illnesses by looking at the patient's digestive system. Conventional doctors rarely consider nutrition and digestion to be a part of good health.

Dr. Saputo makes himself accessible to his patients. He prefers that they call him "Len." He encourages patients to email him with questions--between office visits--and he responds right away, as long as the question requires a straightforward answer.

I read extensively about medical issues. I typically arm myself with a list of concerns to show my doctors. My aim to be a part of my own care puts off some doctors. Dr. Saputo welcomes questions, and he takes them seriously. He is open-minded enough to consider my thoughts. Yet, he is a strong sounding board who doesn't let me hijack my treatment with my own fears or misinformation.

This review is not of Dr. Len Saputo's medical practice, but of his book: A Return to Healing: Radical Health Care Reform and the Future of Medicine. When he mentioned he was writing this book on medical reform, I thought to myself, Good luck with that. Only an optimistic, energetic person would tackle this subject. When he said that his goal was to provide a solution to the medical care crisis, I asked what his bottom line solution would ultimately be. He said something like, "People must take it upon themselves to demand change."